1. what’s your gender?
Cisgender female....I think. To be honest, I've been questioning it lately. I still go by she/her, but I really like they/them, too.
So keep thinking of me as a woman for now, lol.
2. what are your pronouns?
She/her and They/them.
3. is your family accepting?
Yeah, actually. At least my parents are, for the most part. My dad thought that I was bisexual for the longest time until recently, but even then I had the comfort of knowing that he would be accepting if I brought a woman home. He's always been pro lgbt+, but the issue became more important to him when I came out to him back when I was in highschool.
My mom...well, she wasn't accepting in the past but she is now...I think. See, she still thinks I'm bisexual and she seems to be hyperfocusing on my attraction to men. For example, fairly recently I've gotten back in touch with one of my exes and rekindled my friendship with him. I still care about this guy a lot, but I don't think I could ever go out with him again. The spark just isn't there anymore, y'know? Besides, he's with someone else now. I bring him up because mom was stating stuff like 'I always liked that boy' and what not. She's never said that about any girl I've shown interest in.
Like, she says 'whatever makes me happy,' but when she says things like that but only focuses on my attraction to men....I dunno, it doesn't feel good. It feels like I have to get with a man if she's going to be happy about it. Dad thinks she might be in some serious denial about my non-straightness. I'm honestly worried that her supportive attitude might've just been lip service. I dunno, we'll just have to wait and see, I guess.
4. what do you wish you could tell your past self?
Little Nym: 'Oh, I'm pansexual! I can totally date a trans person!'
Current Nym: *wacks little nym upside the head* 'That is not what pan means, you little idiot! Cut with that ignorant nonsense this instant! And GROW A SPINE!'
5. what is your sexuality?
I'm pansexual!^^
That I'm 100% sure about and 100% proud of!
6. favorite color?
Hm, I tend to favor blues and greens.~
7. sun gay or moon gay?
Moon.
8. when did you find out your sexuality?
At some point during highschool, I believe.
I thought that I was bisexual for awhile, but when I heard the term 'pansexual' for the first time something just....clicked. Like, 'oh....I'm pan. I'm PAN!!' And here I am now.^^
9. how was your day?
Eh. *shrugs.*
10. do you have any gay friends?
You mean majority of my friends? Lol.
11. what’s your favorite hobby?
Drawing.
12. who’s the best gay icon in your opinion?
Hm, I dunno.
13. which pride flags do you like the most design/color wise?
Ahh, I love the pansexual flag - mostly the pastel version. I also love the lesbian flag, the agender flag, and the achiellin flag.
14. are you openly out?
Yeah, I'm out.
15. are you comfortable with yourself?
Mostly, yeah, albeit with some lingering confusion.
16. bottom or top?
Top!
17. femme or butch?
Futch trying to be soft butch-ish and failing, lol.
18. do you bind?
Nope.
19. do you shave?
Sometimes. I shave my armpits but I can't be bothered with my legs most of the time. I mean, it's just hair. It's not going to bite anyone.
I do also shave a certain area but for the sake of keeping this journal entry pg, that's all I'll say.
20. if you could date anyone you wanted, who would it be?
Hm, a really nice and cute person with similar interest to me. who I could make laugh a lot and they would make me feel secure and grounded in return. Also would let me be the big spoon and we could switch it up sometimes. We could nerd out together, make pillow forts like we're kids, watch spooky movies and play games wile cuddling in said pillow fort. I would always make coffee for us and I would greet my partner in the morning with a cup of it and they would do the same for me whenever they got up first. We could spend all sunday morning together making homemade dog treats for our spoiled fur babies, go out into the country and look at the stars...I would wear a white suit at our wedding regardless of my partner's gender. Maybe with a floral tie. That or no tie...
Ahh, sorry, I'm a hopeless romantic, as you can see.
21. do you have a partner (s)?
Alas, I do not. And I'm not really looking for one at this moment, but I would like to have one in the future.
22. describe your partner (s)?
Currently nonexistent, lol.
23. have you ever dated anyone of the same sex?
Yup, though me and that girl were practically family so it was a tad awkward at the time, even though I did have a crush on her. But it helped me figure out that I was into girls, so I don't regret it at all.^^ I had crushes on girls way back when I was a kid, but due to how heteronormative this society is, I never quite registered those as crushes until years later. Which is ironic considering how I would make my barbies kiss - I never owned a Ken doll but that didn't stop me from make-believe romance! I was a strange child, lol.
24. anyone of another sex?
Most of my exes happened to be of the opposite sex. Just kind worked out that way.
25. pastel gay or goth gay?
Goth gay all the way.~
26. favorite dad in dream daddies?
Hm, I'd have to say that teacher guy...and that other black guy. Can't recall their names right now, though.
*crossing fingers and praying for a dream mommy game.*
27. tell me a random fact about yourself?
I really like coffee.
28. do you own any pride flags/merch?
I have a bisexual dog tag back from when I thought I was bi, lol. I dunno if I should give it away or keep it as a keepsake.
29. have you ever been to a pride parade?
No, but I've been to a pride fest. Only once, though.
30. any advice to someone who isn’t out or who is exploring themselves?
Hey, take your time. It's okay if you say you're one thing only to discover you're something else. It's part of the process of figuring yourself out. It's completely natural, so don't let anyone make you feel bad about it, alright? Stay safe.
